Chapter 10

Chapter 10 - My First Own Challenge

The day so expected finally came! I was 13 and joined the Kotekitai band and the Young Women's division! 

The Kotekitai band rehearsals were more intense than the Pompomtai rehearsals and we had to read all the novels; Human Revolution and The New Human Revolution by Daisaku Ikeda, the organization and the Kotekitai band's founder. At the meetings and rehearsals we were asked many times about President Ikeda's life. They said we would never understand the mentor and disciple relationship if we did not read the three presidents' journeys for Kosen rufu. 

In the band I chose to be part of the music department and my friend Silvia chose the choreography department. I wanted to play saxophone but unfortunately the band's leader said I would have to wait a few years to play the saxophone because the band was not ready to have an instrument like that. I have to confess that I was very disappointed and I thought she noticed it in my face. " I will tell you when the right time to play the saxophone comes", she said. 

Then she suggested to me that I play the fife which is a small Japanese silver instrument that could only be bought in Japan. To buy it I needed to wait till someone was going to participate in a SGI course in Japan. At that time there were not many opportunities to attend a course in Japan like today. Sometimes we had to wait for years! Another option would be to find someone who had already played the fife in Kotekitai. It was not difficult to find Women's Division members who had participated in Kotekitai but it was hard to convince them to lend me their instrument. They were afraid of never seeing their instrument again since it could be broken, stolen or lost!

I told my mother about the instrument and she said I should chant to find a solution. 

"Mummy! How should I chant?"

"Chant every day 30 minutes without fail!" 

"Why 30 minutes?"

"You can chant as long as you want! There is no rule! I suggested 30 minutes because you need to find the fife as fast as possible since you want to play in the Cultural Centre's inauguration. Am I not right? ", she said. 

My mother was completely right! I really wanted to play on the day of the Cultural Centre's inauguration! All Rio de Janeiro' s SGI members were making great efforts to participate in this historic moment! I wanted to do my best too!

 

My mother had decided to donate some money for the construction of the building. I also donated by saving some money my mother had given  to me to use for my  school lunch. Although we didn't donate a considerable amount, my mother would say that the spirit of donation with sincerity from our heart was what mattered. She said with the amount I had donated they could buy toilet paper.  I was very proud of myself that I could help them buy toilet paper! 

"But Mummy I don't have much time! Just three months!" 

"Don't worry about the time! Start chanting today and contact as many people as you can to find out who could have such an instrument." 

My mother was teaching me to not lose time! I should take action immediately rather than be thinking about the time! 

On that day I started chanting for 30 minutes a day but sometimes I did more! Then I asked many people from SGI if they knew someone who had played the fife in the Kotekitai band. 

The days were passing and I yet had no answer! 

"Don't have doubts!", my mother said. "If you don't believe with strong conviction you won't win!". 

Sometimes my mother talked to me like I was an adult! I was only 13! But I have to admit that I felt stronger and encouraged when she talked to me like that! 

After a month of chanting there was an opportunity to buy the fife from Japan because of a SGI course and a Women's Division member who was able to go. The Kotekitai's leader informed me of when the person would be going to Japan and the price of the instrument. I was surprised at the price of the instrument! It was very expensive despite it being a very tiny instrument. I thought that only big instruments were expensive! 

I was aware that the money was too much for my mother give to me! She was still the only one who worked permanently and my father did not help her much since he was only freelancing. I decided not to tell my mother about the SGI course in Japan as I did not want to worry her! Instead I kept chanting to find some Women's Division member who would trust me and lend me her instrument. 

The more I chanted the more I believed! I could not explain why I felt victorious even before achieving what I had determined. 

"It is because you are close to achieving it!", my mother would say. "When you feel  happy and victorious regardless of whether achieved your determination, it means that you have connected your life with the universe and your Buddhahood is stronger than your common mortal life."

My mother sometimes seemed like a witch who saw the future with a crystal ball! But she was just sharing with me her conviction and beliefs. She read a lot of material and tried to put into practice what Nichiren Daishonin and Sensei taught. When I read Sensei's guidance I felt strongly encouraged and happy! It was like a light at the end of the tunnel! After reading any of his guidance or stories told in the novel "Human Revolution" and "The New Human Revolution" I renewed all my goals whatever they were. 

While I chanted I thought about the gosho written by Nichiren Daishonin that says," Those who believe in the Lotus Sutra are as if in winter, but winter always turns to spring. Never, from ancient times on, has anyone heard or seen of winter turning back to autumn. Nor have we ever heard of a believer in the Lotus Sutra who turned into an ordinary person. The sutra reads, “If there are those who hear the Law, then not a one will fail to attain Buddhahood.” *

After a month and half month I met three people who had participated in Kotekitai and played fife. I was so happy and very anxious to hold the instrument in my hands. However it was not as easy as I thought just because I had found them! The first person I met would not lend me her instrument because she was holding onto her fife to pass to her daughter who was participating in Pompomtai. I went back home a little sad. 

"Don't give up Tatiana! Don't have doubts! You still have two people to meet!", my mother said. 

I chanted more before I met the second person. When I met her I really thought I would go home with the instrument but she told me that she could not lend me her treasure! The fife was considered by her the most valuable thing she owned because the time she had experienced as a member of kotekitai and playing the fife had been the best time in her life! 

I was happy because she had had an unforgettable and precious time in kotekitai but I was a little disappointed and sad going home without the instrument again! 

"Honey, there is a gosho that says, ' For example, the journey from Kamakura to Kyoto takes twelve days. If you travel for eleven but stop with only one day remaining, how can you admire the moon over the capital? No matter what, stay close to the priest who knows the heart of the Lotus Sutra, keep learning from him the principles of Buddhism, and continue your journey of faith.' (Letter to Nike) You will win my daughter! Believe in it!" My mother encouraged me. 

I read this letter many times when I was chanting to believe that I would have an instrument and play in the cultural centre's inauguration. 

I then went to meet the third person and on my way I sometimes had doubts that I would win. However my mother's words and the Goshos I had based my prayer on, helped me to keep my heart and mind positive. When I arrived at the person's house she welcomed me with a big and bright smile. It seemed like we had met before! She asked me to go in and sit down. Then she served me a glass of water because the weather was very hot and a piece of cake. She was not old and she looked as she was single. 

"So, how can I help you?" She asked me. 

"I am here to ask you if you could lend me your fife." I said. It took me a few minutes to answer because my voice did not come out. I was very nervous! 

Her face changed from a smiling face to a serious face. I became more nervous! My legs and hands were shaking while she stared at me. 

I did not take my eyes off her despite I wanting to disappear. 

"She is not going to lend me!", I thought. My negative side was getting stronger than my positive side. I was fighting with my negative force to believe that her face changing did not interfere the final result. I would leave that house with the instrument! I was chanting mentally. 

"Why do you want to play fife?" She asked me. 

I did not want to play fife! I had wanted to play saxophone but I was told not to play it yet. The fife had been suggested to me instead by my Kotekitai leader. What should I tell her? If I told her the truth maybe she would not lend me her fife, she would perhaps  think I would not take good care of her instrument as it had not been my first choice. 

"I cannot lie!" I thought.

Then I told the truth! I told her everything from the beginning. 

After a long talk she stood up, went to her Butsudan and took her instrument which was lying on the altar. The fife was in a bag made to protect it. Then she gave it to me in a way that felt as if I was taking part in a ceremony, receiving something very precious and important and that I should keep continuing her work. 

I took the fife with tears in my eyes! She cried too. 

"Please take care of my life!" She said. 

"Her life?" I thought. "What does she want to say?" I asked myself. 

Later I understood what she had said, as I was very moved each time I played with  the determination and mission to give hope and encouragement through our music to people who were suffering. The instrument, our music and our life was the way we had chosen to propagate the Mystic Law. 

"I will", I promised her. Then I left her house with the fife! I had won! I had the instrument in my hands! I was going back home with the FIFE!!!! 

I thanked her, my mother, the Gohonzon and Sensei in my heart! 

When I got home my mother had not yet arrived from work. I sat in front of the Gohonzon and chanted to give thanks for the victory! 

When my mother arrived I excitedly told her everything. She listen to me carefully and said,". I knew you would win! There is no prayer unanswered. Isn't that what Nichiren Daishonin assured us? 

My mother was very special. She supported me all the time! 

The first victory was achieved but I needed to learn how to play the fife very fast if I wanted to participate in the cultural centre's inauguration. The Kotekitai band would play three songs and one of them was big and hard to play. While I was chanting to have the instrument I had practiced the song using my voice to memorise the musical notes. 

I kept chanting everyday to learn to play the fife very fast and after chanting I practiced the instrument and music for an hour. In the beginning it was very had to get any tune from the fife and I felt sick. But I did not give up and continued to practice. I did not have much time before the day of selection to see who would play, but I was giving it my best to be chosen. 

A week before the kotekitai rehearsals I was playing all the three Songs. The tune of the fife was not as clear as I wanted but it was not too bad. I chanted more that week to be able to play a beautiful tune on the day I would play for the Kotekitai's leaders, who would choose us! 

My mother was right when she said there is no prayer unanswered. I played with all my heart and passed the selection! 

The next challenge was to buy the uniform we were to wear on the day! My mother said I should chant for her to get some extra hours at work and she would be able to pay for it! I did and she worked more hours and payed for the uniform. 

On the day of the Rio de Janeiro Cultural Center's inauguration everybody was very happy! I played with all the other girls and it was a success! Everybody was moved by our efforts and we saw some people crying. I cried too but it did not interfere with my performance. I cried because I was feeling victorious and happy being there working for Kosen rufu with Sensei. 

My mother was there and she said we were incredibly beautiful! She also said that I had had my first own challenging and that I should be ready for another that probably would come. 

I did not understand why she was saying that to me! I did not want to have challenging situations all the time! But she said," It is the way you are going to be forged to become a strong and great person honey! Don't be afraid! Don't run away! Be courageous!" 

She was right once more! I would have more challenges... 

* Buddhahood: The state of awakening that a Buddha has attained. The ultimate goal of Buddhist practice and the highest of the Ten Worlds. The word enlightenment is often used synonymously with Buddhahood. Buddhahood is regarded as a state of perfect freedom, in which one is awakened to the eternal and ultimate truth that is the reality of all things. This supreme state of life is characterized by boundless wisdom and infinite compassion. The Lotus Sutra reveals that Buddhahood is a potential in the lives of all beings. See also attainment of Buddhahood.